First Official Week by Myself with Two Children
Believe it or not this was my first official week by myself with the boys. I was a bit nervous because I just didn’t know what to expect and I tell you what, by the end of it I needed a bottle of wine, some chocolate, a massage and some alone time!
Monday went beautifully. I managed to get Casper to have two naps in the bassinet, Otis was in a good mood all day, we got some fresh air & the day ended with no tears from any of us. I thought “yes! That wasn’t so bad, maybe I can do this 2 kids by myself thing”..
Then came Tuesday.
Tuesday saw us all cry at least once throughout the day.
Otis was in a good mood in the morning but woke up grumpy and emotional in the afternoon. Casper was a boobie freak all day and I just wanted to sit down for 30 minutes without a child touching me. Paul walking through the front door after work could not come quick enough.
Wednesday was another good day (yay). We all got through the day smiling - in fact Casper gave us his first smile! Clever little man.
Best Night We've Had
Wednesday night was the best nights sleep we have had since Casper was born. He was asleep by 7:45pm, woke at 2:30am for a feed and then we started our day at 7am! It was a fab way to get through the middle of the week.
When Thursday rolled around, I was definitely feeling the effect of our social distancing. Otis was starting to get quite naughty & defiant. He had a lot of built up energy he needed to release. I was feeling touched out and I desperately just wanted Casper to nap in the bassinet so I could have some space. Of course this didn’t happen. I felt like I spent the day telling Otis off and I grew more and more frustrated at Casper because he just wanted to be touching me. When Paul got home he saw it in my face. He saw I needed alone time. He bathed the boys and once they were in bed I went downstairs to do some light exercises. I felt like a new woman after exercising and having a shower! Endorphins and warm water have such a magical effect on me (a wine would have been the cherry on top but I settled for some orange juice).
I Need a Break From Baby Wearing
On Friday I thought to myself “right, I’m going to ensure Casper has at least two naps in the bassinet so I can spend some time with Otis and give my back a break from baby wearing”. Well this was a fail. Casper would not have a bar of it. Flat out refused to nap in the bassinet. I tried and I tried but it just resulted in an overtired bubba and frustrated Mum.
That night I had a big old cry. It was a tough week. Not only being on my own for the first time but also because of what is happening in the world. We are experiencing a very serious and scary pandemic and the uncertainty is at times hard to process. Having the cry and releasing everything made me feel much better and so did the pizza Paul went and got for us - good hubby.
Weekends are for Husband's to Baby wear
On Saturday Paul did all the baby wearing so I could have a day free with Otis and to myself. It was so refreshing and just what I needed. Having that support was crucial to my mental health and really gave me a chance to recharge. Funnily enough by the end of the day I bloody missed Casper and his cuddles! The night before I was crying because baby wearing was too much and 24 hours later I was missing him because I didn’t baby wear all day - motherhood, what a rollercoaster of emotions.
No Kindergym For Otis
Social distancing has definitely been challenging, mostly for Otis. He loves kindergym and playgroup. It really breaks up the week for us and I saw this week just how much he needs both activities. Unfortunately at this stage we will be avoiding the classes again this week but I’ll be taking him to the nature reserve across the road each day to run around and exert his energy - he’s like a dog that needs to be walked haha.
Getting A Break to Feel Like Me Again
I started getting back into exercise this week. Nothing crazy just some weights to start strengthening my body and core up again. It felt so good doing this. I didn’t put pressure on myself about how many times i would do a session because our days are still pretty unpredictable especially bed time. Some days Casper is in bed by 7:30pm but done days he does some cluster feeding in the evening. I managed 4 sessions, two during the week and two over the weekend. These sessions are a good way for me to have alone time and feel like more than just a slave to two mini humans.
Once Casper is in a more predictable routine then I’ll be able to focus more on my sessions but for now a few sessions a week is good enough to build my confidence and strength back up.
6 Week Immunisations
Taking Casper for his 6 week immunisations on Monday was just as heart breaking as I remember it being with Otis. Our GP didn’t have his nurse there either so the x 3 injections had to be done individually and by the third I was holding back tears :( the poor little love had some big naps throughout the day, one being nearly 3 hours long which he hasn’t done in a while. He was pretty unsettled when he was awake so we had a warm bath together with lots of skin on skin and this helped calm him down.
Newborn Day Naps
All of Casper’s day naps happen in the baby carrier still. He’s not quite ready for bassinet settling which can be draining but it’s not forever. At this stage Casper still needs support so I’ll continue to give it to him. My plan is to focus on bassinet settling once he gets to 8 weeks. There’s a lot happening developmentally between now and then so I am expecting his needs to change. This actually occurs around the Easter long weekend so I’m committing that weekend to focusing on his settling and giving him the confidence to start sleeping in the bassinet not only at night but also during the day.
A part of me is looking forward to no more baby carrier naps 4 times a day but I know that once he’s sleeping in his bassinet during the day I’ll miss having him snooze away on my chest. I bring myself back to these thoughts when I feel myself struggling through the day. Knowing it’s not forever and he won’t be doing this for much longer pushes me to be in the moment and soak it up.
Uncertain Times Ahead
I worry about what the next few weeks are going to entail. As the day’s go by more and more people are isolating themselves and their families. This isn’t an easy thing to do and I know many Mums in particular are going to struggle mentally.
Now more than ever we need to band together. Check in on your family and friends. Have a wine over FaceTime with each other. Bring out the board games and connect with one another.
Mother Nature is literally forcing us all to slow down so embrace it. We are such a busy society - always running around doing things so try to accept a slower pace.
Most importantly stay safe and please know if you need anything, sometime to vent to, some advice or just a friend to engage with - I am here xx.